Story by co-editor and writer Christopher Lewis

The American public, or at least the portion of it that still retains even a semblance of a conscience, shuttered last month upon the release of the Senate Intelligence Committee’s Study of the Central Intelligence Agency’s Detention and Interrogation Program, aka the Torture Report. For the first few days after its release, prior to the fruit fly brains switching back to la-la-land mode, the major two factions reacted in highly predictable ways: the liberals in horror, and the conservatives in defense. Of course the world is not all black and white, and so obvious exceptions to that paradigm exist, however the usual suspects arose to condemn and to preserve this heinous practice. Then along came The Interview-gate, and voila! It’s like the report and what was said by all that the vile creatures who defended it never existed. Magic, isn’t it?

Foremost among the bulwarks of inhumanity was former Vice President Dickhead Cheney, who boasted of his, and former President Bush’s knowledge and approval of the torture protocol, and who railed against those who would be so crass as to equate “enhanced interrogation” with torture. To him, the report was nothing more than political posturing, and was “full of crap” due to its evidently calling a spade, a spade. The logic he used to justify his refusal to see these crimes as such was astounding. For example, according to Cheney rectal feeding “wasn’t torture in terms of it wasn’t part of the program.”

Got that? Rectal feeding wasn’t torture because it wasn’t part of the CIA’s manual of barbaric, yet somehow approved, methods. Never mind that said manual is clearly in gross violation of the 1994 Convention Against Torture treaty ratified by the federal government. Even so Cheney would “do it again in a minute,” because really, “how nice do you want to be to the murderers of 3,000 people on 9/11?”

So let’s take some time out to address the 3 most fallacious and abso-effing-lutely inhumane excuses for torturing another living soul, given by some pretty terrible human beings during this lovely holiday season…

“How nice do you want to be to the murderers of 3,000 people on 9/11?”

Well, Dick, I’d suppose that in a court of law, one wouldn’t be too kind to such murderers, or their co-conspirators. The real problem with that shitty excuse, though, is that no one had the opportunity to be any way toward the murderers because the murderers died on that day as well. Furthermore, in a society based upon the rule of law anything other than harsh words and foul looks toward even the guiltiest of people amounts to a crime. The sheer number of victims does not suspend the notion of justice or the rule of law except in the minds of the most sick and twisted individuals on the planet. And even at that point torture is not actually a measure of justice, but one of retribution, regardless of the guilt of the one being tortured.

Another problem with this god-awful attempt at a justification is the ignorance that it expects from the American people in tacitly accepting it – an ignorance which obviously is much more prevalent than most are willing to recognize. What ignorance do I speak of? How about the ignorance expected of people to believe that anyone in government, whether it be this Congress, this Administration, or the ones that have preceded them since 2001, are telling the truth about anything that has gone on behind closed doors.

There are 28 pages of the 9/11 Commission Report that both Bush and Obama have utterly refused to declassify which implicate Saudi officials in the aiding of the September 11 attacks, yet we are expected to believe that the random scooping up and torturing of brown men in the deserts of the Middle East was somehow justified. For the love of God, even if your twisted and sick mind is okilie dokilie with the idea of torturing a human being, the CIA obviously – and seemingly purposefully – wasn’t even torturing the right people!

There were allegedly 119 prisoners held by the CIA under this gruesome program. Of those 119, the report has concluded that 26 were held by mistake, while human rights advocates have calculated that the number is actually much higher! When you take that into consideration with the fact that the CIA has purposely not investigated some of the true masterminds and funders, Cheney’s appeal to your emotions is even hollower than it at first seems.

Jack Bauer, 24, and the Ticking Time Bomb

We probably all saw the gripping television…READ MORE